Welcome back to The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness. Last week we looked at step 5, Action. This week we are looking at our final step:

Step 7: Maintenance

After going through these steps, something has happened. We have felt our existence come into peace with the world around us. We can look the world in the eye and know that we have done the best we can. We feel that we are a part of something now, something bigger than ourselves. For we have laid the foundation with which real spiritual growth and happiness will spring.

Remember our quote from step 1?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
-Ghandi

Is this not what we have done?

In step 1 (awareness) we became aware that, if we are not satisfied with the way things are, change is needed to find true inner peace and happiness.

Step 2 (acceptance) taught us about accepting the things we can change, ourselves. And that we are responsible for becoming what we dream of becoming.

Step 3 (identification) is where we learned how to identify the things which we must change. Things which keep us from growing spiritually and towards inner peace and happiness.

The very important step 4 (self-searching), is where we discovered the how and why of our past behaviors. We discover the character flaws that caused the things we identified in step 3.

Step 5 (confession) taught us a little about humility and forgiveness.

In step 6 (action) we realized that for real change to happen, we must move our feet! Nothing great ever happened by sitting around thinking about it!

We have cleared, or at least started to clear, the wreckage of our past. This means that we can now walk upright, with pride and dignity. If there are things which continue to nudge our conscience, that keep our eyes looking down, we must take more action to clear them from our soul. This may mean more amends are to be made to others, or even to ourselves. Nothing is too great a task for we are on a path to true happiness.

Looking back when we started, we realized we needed to  get three things in harmony to find happiness; thought, words, and action. Steps 1, 2, 3, and 4 were all about getting out thinking straight. Steps 5 and 6 are action steps and begin us on the path of doing the right thing. The by-product of having a clear conscience and right living is that we no longer need validation and happiness from outside ourselves. What others do or think is no longer our biggest concern, but how we are living. Are we being true to ourselves and our highest ideals?

We find that we no longer need to say or do things which are harmful to others. Actions and words—used only to hurt others and inflate ourselves—are no longer needed. For everything we need is within us as individuals.

Maintenance is about living each day to the best of our ability. Having followed these steps, we can move forward knowing we have done the best we can. So each day we set out to bring joy and love to the lives of others. As a friend of mine says, “Today, I will only give and receive love.”

Here are a few maintenance steps I do on a daily basis. Each morning when I wake I do four things before starting my day:

1. Take a Shower
2. Read one of my morning meditating books
3. Get on my knees
4. Pray

One of the prayers I say every morning is known as the Third Step prayer:

God, I offer myself to Thee–to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”

Next, before I get off my knees, I remain quiet and just sit there for several minutes and listen to the day begin. Before getting up I say one more prayer, “God, show me what you will have me do today and give me the strength and the willingness to carry it out.”

What is amazing, is that throughout each day, there seems to always come a moment when someone is in need or I am given an opportunity to help someone. That is when I think back about the prayer I said that morning, and I get a chance to see if I really meant what I said.

At night before going to bed I again do four things:

1. Brush my teeth
2. Kiss my wife
3. Get on my knees
4. Pray

My nightly prayer consists of thanks mostly. I also do sort of a daily inventory, going over the entire day in my head to see if there’s any amends I need to make or areas which I can improve upon. I think about others who I know are suffering or struggling and I pray for them. This is also when I pray for those I may have a resentment towards. I pray that they have all of the things in their life that I want in mine; happiness, love, joy, peace, etc..

You may wonder why I put “get on my knees” in both lists as something I do. Originally, I started doing it because someone whom I admired suggested I try it. It was a symbol of my willingness to change. Now I do it because hitting my knees is an action. It forces me to concentrate on what I’m doing and is a physical display of humility and gratitude.

Well, that’s it for The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness. Let me know what you think. I really wish I could come around to everyone and help you work these steps in person. They really can change your life. To some extent, I do each step in some way everyday as part of my maintenance. My goal is to make this series into an eBook for distribution at some point, so keep an out out for that!

Even if you did not work these steps, you should really give a lot of thought to happiness being a by-product of right living. When you feel agitated, restless, or discontented, trying getting outside of yourself and helping someone. In the words of Francine Ward, “Self-Esteem Comes From DOING Esteemable Acts”

Please, if you have any suggestions for future posts or would like to hear about anything in particular, or need advice or want to discuss something in your life, shoot me an email.

photo credit: melolou

Other Articles That May Interest You

• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 5, Confession
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 4, Self-Searching
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness
• Matching Calamity with Serenity: Spiritual Training and Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos
• Spirituality for Non-Spiritual People: 6 Ways to Practice Spirituality

Welcome back to The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness. Last week we looked at step 5, Confession. This week we are looking at:

Step 6: Action

So far we’ve talked a lot. Although working on the inventory and sharing our secrets with someone else could be considered action, it’s now time to see how serious we really are about change.

Not once in my life have I gained true spiritual growth by simply thinking or intellectualizing about something.

We’re talking about action, like in 9 Ways to Get the Funk Outta’ Here, “You can’t think your way into good living, you must live your way into good thinking“

This is where the rubber hits the road.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
-Lao Tzu

When I started my current job, my life coach/spiritual advisor suggested that I go around each morning and introduce myself to three new people. I thought he was kidding. He wasn’t. I felt that would be out of character for me, after all, I’m shy. He said, “Jared, you’re making it all about you, it’s not about you. It’s about meeting new people and building relationships. Being shy is another way of being self-absorbed and self-centered.”

So I went around each morning for that first week and introduced myself to three different people. It felt good and I realized I can be a pretty friendly guy after all. I sure did feel better about myself .

In looking at how action is going to help us achieve inner peace and happiness, lets look at why we fall short of these goals in the first place. Well that’s not hard, take a look back at Step 4, our Self-Searching inventory. We have a list of actions and/or things which have caused us pain and which we are remorseful for.

If we’ve done the work to this point and had someone help us identify why we did such things, we are equipped with some real valuable information. Information that helps us understand why and what we have done to ourselves and others. We must now take action to correct any of these wrongs that we can, listening carefully to our conscience which will guide us in knowing which of these amends we should make. Again, it is beneficial to have someone experienced in this process. We do not want to cause any more harm to ourselves or others. More importantly, it is not our place to clear our own conscience at the expense of someone else.

So we go over our list and realize there are some things we can make right. We can offer up some apologies to those we may have stepped on or hurt. Most importantly, we can now realize the how and why of our actions, making our amends sincere and honest. We must remember to find empathy for ourselves as well. During this process, I realized I held deep resentments towards myself. This step gave me a start on living the right way, by putting right living into action and practice. Going through the actions of making amends and setting things right, was the beginning of aligning my intentions with my actions—something I have found to be necessary for inner peace and happiness.

This process of action is just the beginning of our new life. Cleaning up all the wreckage from our past may take years and there may be parts we can never make right. If that is the case, we work towards forgiving ourselves. Again, taking action by prayer and asking God for forgiveness. It will come if we ask. As we go about living the right way, our self-image and esteem heals and we find one day we have forgiven ourselves for those things we felt we could never make right. This is the way it has happened for me.

Action, Action, Action

I can read every self-help and personal development book ever written, then put them down and carry on with the way things were. All the while wondering why nothing has changed. If nothing changes, then nothing changes. Simple actions can bring about huge change. Something as simple as introducing yourself to three new people each day, can bring about spiritual growth and new knowledge about yourself.

Remember, “You can’t think your way into good living, you must live your way into good thinking” It’s all about action!

What action are you going to take today?

Up next, Step 7: Maintenance

Photo credit: vgm8383

Other Articles That May Interest You

• Do Something: Finding Spiritual Growth in Daily Actions
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 7, Maintenance
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness
• Surviving Terminal Uniqueness
• He Knows Just How Much We Can Bear

Emulate
tr.v., -lat·ed, -lat·ing, -lates.
1. To strive to equal or excel, especially through imitation: an older pupil whose accomplishments and style I emulated.

I once had a psychiatrist tell me, “Jared, find someone successful you admire and do what they do.” My inner voice said, “You’re full of crap lady. I’m unique, I’m going to do great things. I don’t know anyone who is going to be as successful as me.”

I was suffering from terminal uniqueness. I consistently found myself in conflict with everything and everyone. I was “a part from” as opposed to “a part of” humanity. Not until I realized I wasn’t so different was I able to open my heart to all that was around me.

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else””
- Alison Boulter

Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m unique in many ways, and for those I am grateful. But by recognizing the similarities with others, I’m more able to understand them, help them, and learn from them. When I view myself as completely unique, I’m probably thinking about myself and I’m not in the moment. Real life happens in the moment.

Here are some things I use to remind myself I’m not so unique:

Listening
During a conversation, I often get this inner voice that reminds me of all the great things I have to share. I’m so important, they’re going to be blown away by what I have to say on the subject… Basically I’m waiting for a chance to talk instead of listening.

When this happens, I try and remind myself to pay attention. I tell myself that if what I have to say is really that important, I’ll remember it when it’s time for me to share. I then just let it go and get back to listening. It takes practice. And yes, these thoughts happen in a split second so I usually don’t miss any of the conversation.

Looking for the similarities in others
The idea that a problem I face is so unique, that no one else has ever been faced with such a problem, is ridiculous. If I’m only focused on how I’m different from others, I’m separating myself. Once I separate myself, I lose the ability to learn from them.

No man is an island
-John Donne

Self Acceptance
By separating myself from others with an unrealistic view of uniqueness, I’m placing myself above or below them… “I’m better than..” or “I’m worse than…” By learning to accept myself completely, I no longer need to compare myself to others… as much. I still do it from time to time, but more often than not I catch myself.

There’s nothing wrong with viewing oneself as unique. After all, there is no one exactly like you or I. However, when I’m so unique I separate myself from everyone, it becomes detrimental to my spiritual growth. Finally, after years of struggling to fix my own “unique” problems, I took the suggestion of that psychiatrist from many years ago. I found someone that had something I wanted, and simply asked them to show me how they got there. It worked.

photo credit: Knokton

Other Articles That May Interest You

• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 7, Maintenance
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 6, Action
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 5, Confession
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 2, Acceptance
• The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness

photo credit: psd

When someone gives me a gift, I should accept it. A compliment is a gift. When someone says, “you look nice today,” the correct response is “Thank You.” Not “well I don’t wear this shirt that often, it really needs ironed and my belt doesn’t actually match my shoes.” Self-deprecation is rooted in self, and it is still selfish.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.
- unknown

I used to think by declining a gift, I was being humble, “oh no, I really can’t accept that.” When I deflect a compliment, or a gift, not only am I being selfish, I’m robbing the person of the gift of giving.

So next time someone offers you a gift or a compliment, a simple “Thank You” is fine.

Other Articles That May Interest You

• Having a healthy relationship with myself
• Self-Pity and Overcoming Low Self-Esteem
• How to Develop Good Communication Skills (accidently on purpose)
• The Power of Spiritual Love and 22 Ways It Will Change Your Life
• The Sure Fire Way to Sabotage Any Relationship (plus the top 6 reasons to avoid it)