I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me.
Robert Browning Hamilton
Desperation and pain are great motivators. I hear it over and over from people in recovery; we don’t work hard at changing something—like character defects—until they cause us great pain or sorrow. Why is that?
One reason may be because it’s uncomfortable. And as I’ve learned; change is usually not hard, just uncomfortable. Maybe we’re scared of what we’ll find. Or, worse yet, if we accept something we’ll have to do something about it. Crap.
But with time and practice, we learn to let these unpleasant experiences teach us how to become human. How to accept life on life’s terms and that it is possible to surface on the other side with grace and dignity.
When things are going great, we have little need to make withdraws from our spiritual bank account. Yet many times we fail to make deposits during these times as well. Spiritual growth is often not our first priority when things are going good. Hence the term, “pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth.” It doesn’t have to be.
Its important when times are good to make sure we’re continuing to grow spiritually and making deposits into our spiritual bank accounts. This insures that when (not if) we need to make a significant withdraw, we’re not spiritually bankrupt.
Have you made any deposits today?
photo credit: Betsssssy
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Jared,
That’s so inspiring… I think that “if we do not voluntarily enroll in the school of personal and spiritual growth, we will be ‘enrolled’ and its not fun to be enrolled…. its fun to enroll” :-)
And hey, i love the subtitle for your blog “Matching calamity with serenity”. Thanks for the inspiration.
Christopher
Christopher,
Awesome analogy and perspective about being “enrolled.” That is so true… like having the ability to choose humility as opposed to being bludgeoned into it.
So true and such a good reminder. And the poem is a perfect fit.
Thanks for the comment! Which reminds me to get over and check out what you’ve been up to since the end of the year!
well, said my friend…as always…this will be a great year for all of us and your words will always remind me that though I know the lesson I’ve yet to put somethings to work in my favor…Perhaps before they hurt to much. Keep the words coming. LadyJ aka Jacki
Thanks LadyJ, it’s always a pleasure hearing from you!
OH so true! And have I felt the discomfort of change. It takes courage to endure that discomfort, but I believe we come out the other side much stronger and wiser if we are willing to go through it. Thanks for the lovely reminder to continually make deposits into our spiritual account.
Kim
Kimberly,
You said it, “It takes courage to endure that discomfort.” Courage is not the lack of fear, but moving forward in spite of it. And the point you make about being stronger because of it is so true; not only from the growth perspective, but from the increased self-esteem/love for having walked through it with dignity.
Fantastic article, Jared. Brief yet packs a strong punch. I agree that in times of great suffering, we shift our attention to ourselves – the inner self. It’s one of the true ways that we can create a strong bond with the spiritual side of our existence. Like you said, “pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth.”
Peace and respect,
Ryhen
Ryhen,
Thanks for stopping by. I like how you noted we shift our attention to ourselves and the inner self. Although for me, I can very easily shift attention to myself when things are going well. As in “look how great I am” – something I have to watch. ;-)