This week’s post is going to be a little different. Different in that, I had no idea what I was going to talk about when I started writing this. I have tons of topics and lots of things I’m passionate about, but decided to just sit down and see what comes out. (I’m trying to put less pressure on myself to conqueror world peace with every post!)
My stepson is training as a kick boxer and occasionally he participates in matches. They charge admission, have lights, music, a fancy ring etc… A few months ago, my wife and I were attending one of these matches. Besides kickboxing, they also have grappling and MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) matches. In one of the MMA fights, there was this huge guy fighting this smaller guy. I noticed the smaller guy actually seemed to be doing pretty good. About halfway through the fight, this younger kid sitting next to me leans over and says, “man, that black guy is really good, I think he’s winning.” It was then I realized he was talking about the smaller guy, and now I realized the smaller guy was black. I hope that’s the “pc” word these days. I don’t know, his skin was darker than mine, and the white guy’s skin was also a lot whiter than mine. Of course I tan sometimes, I’m a bit of a metro sexual though so…
I’ve made an effort over the past few years to look for other factors when trying to distinguish between two people of different color, race, or even weight for that matter. Yet, in my story above, wasn’t I even doing that when I referred to one guy as “the smaller guy?” Hmm, I don’t know. The point is, I realized that for just a few minutes, I didn’t see any color whatsoever. Just two guys in a ring beating the crap out of each other. Then hugging afterwards; which was the best part of the fight if you ask me.
rac-ism: a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
When walking down the street and I see someone of different race or color approaching, I notice. Does that make me racist? I hope not. I suppose according to the definition, it does not. I do not see myself as superior or having the right to rule. I make a conscience effort to look them in the eye, to say “hi,” or just show them a smile. It feels good when they return the gesture. There’s a lot of panhandlers and some homeless people roaming the streets around my office building. Sometimes I change to the other side of the street to avoid walking past them, does that make me racist or judgmental against homeless people? Maybe so, and I am working on that. I am more aware of it now, and often remind myself of that as I stay my course and even attempt to say hello or strike up a conversation. I often drop a dollar or two into their hand, but it’s for selfish reasons because it makes me feel good. Some people would say, “they’re just going to go buy booze or drugs with it.” I don’t care, they can use it for whatever they want. Whether I give it to them or not, they’re going to get their next fix if they need it. As a recovering alcoholic, I know what it’s like when you need a drink to survive.
During my last alcoholic bottom I slept under a bridge downtown one night because it was closer to the liquor store. Plus I was getting too weak from lack of food that walking the two blocks between there and my loft was getting pretty difficult. It seemed reasonable at the time. It’s funny how when you’re in addiction or not thinking clearly how logical some things can seem. I guess maybe these days I know I could be that guy standing on the street corner asking for money. If I don’t continue to grow spiritually, I can be back there again pretty quick. As I grow spiritually, my view of myself and the world changes. I see myself and others more as “a part of” as opposed to “apart from.”
There is only one way to get full satisfaction from life and that is to live the way you believe God wants you to live.
-Thought For The Day, Hazelden Twenty Four Hours a Day
It is my belief, that God wants me to love all people and do my best to show people respect, regardless of their color, religion, or anything else I perceive as different. And that includes myself! It does take practice. But hopefully some day that few minutes of seeing no color, will turn into something more.
photo credit: maHidoodi
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
In the beginning, we are One, when we are conceived in this world we become departed. Our life’s mission is to be connected once again, and only through wisdom and growth do we achieve this. :-)
Walter,
That’s interesting and I feel that. Meaning I feel that we have departed from one another somehow and we all are connected. One of the greatest gifts I’ve discovered in my spiritual and self-seeking journey, is compassion and empathy for myself; something I realize now I didn’t have for most of my life. The result of that has been so much more than I expected. It has allowed me to relate better to all people… it’s sort of hard to explain. But it’s something I feel from others more than hear or see. It’s like once I learned how to get all the emotions and thoughts connected with my heart, I am able to feel them and accept them from others. Body language, eyes, tone of voice, etc. we all speak and the language is the same regardless of race or religion. Especially in those who have been through similar life experiences. It really ended up being the other way around… discover those deep inner-working of myself so I can see and feel them in others.
Thanks for stopping and taking the time to comment.
A quote from a classic song for your post: Bob Marley’s ‘War’
“Until the colour of a man’s skin
Is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes – ”
(full lyrics http://tinyurl.com/ygta3b2 )
It’s not that you shouldn’t see colour, but it’s the reaction it causes in you, and what you see in it. People are different colours, sizes, cultures, religions; I try to think of this diversity as something akin to biodiversity – it’s what makes the world whole.
Unfortunately so many people don’t see that and feel that in order to be whole, their way must be right and others wrong. Much of the time it’s born of ignorance and fear, and talking about it like this, or taking the first step and saying ‘Hi’ like you, is the only way we’ll pick down that wall.
Finola,
You are so right, “It’s not that you shouldn’t see colour, but it’s the reaction it causes in you, and what you see in it.” And yes, ignorance and fear. I guess sometimes we need to look at how far we’ve come. Like when I view and compare myself to others (which I still do sometimes) I don’t seem to be where I want to be. Either spiritually, emotionally, or even physically. But what I really need to concentrate on is, how far I’ve come! By those standards, I simply a completely different man. Thanks for reminding me!
Hi Jared,
One of the many things that I do believe in is that we are all one. We are all brothers and sisters. I have never understood why people focus so much on the so called “differences” and make judgments accordingly.
As someone whose skin color is a bit brown, I have had my share of racism done to me. When I was a kid, my family was the first ethnic family in the neighborhood and I was made fun of daily. It was very painful and with time, I realized that they just did not know better. As more ethnic families moved in, people became more tolerant.
I also realized that behind the differences in appearance, we all have the same blood, organs and so on. Actually, the human DNA is 99.9 the same for all of us. Only one tenth of a percent is different. Humans focus on that one-tenth difference and ignore the rest.
Just like Finola said, a lot of the discrimination we see is due to ignorance and fear. I also agree with Walter that eventually people will realize that we are all one.
Nadia,
One thing I’ve discovered is, the more I learn about myself, the more I see the similarities in all creatures. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment. Your insight is always a blessing!
Great post Jared. So, let me ask you, when you look at a rose, do you notice that is different from the peony?
Or if you look at a Jaguar, do you notice it is different from a Mercedes? (my next car, I swear :) )
Because, the facts are, our minds are hard-wired to discriminate. And I use that word in the scientic, biological, psychological sense – not in a legal, racist sense.
We descriminate between stiumuli of all sorts and our mind will sort, categorize and evaluate based on those differences. So, THAT you notice color is not more indicative that you dislike black people than you would dislike a peony because you say it wasn’t a rose. you know?
I notice Asian people. I notice Indian people. I notice Hispanic people. Heck, I even notice men separate from women. That doesn’t make me sexist. I notice difference. it is the ‘jugement’ that we make about those differences that would render us racist, sexist or what have you.
I don’t think it’s humanly possible to not notice black over white or white over black. But, it certainly doesn’t make you racist.
Hope you are well. Haven’t been to your blog lately. Glad to see you throwing out those thought-provoking questions.
you can get back to world peace next post. ;)
Magnolia,
What a great perspective on this article! Thank you so much for that. The amazing part is to be able to notice the differences and still find what is lovely about every human being and creature. Which I think starts by noticing the similarities.
Thanks for stopping back by.
I take it you mean noticing similarites to that there is a basis to build consensus on? As a way to unite our commonalities as humans?
I find differences fascinating. In fact, I’m drawn to anything that is different from the status quo or the norm. I find it stimulating mentally, emotionally, physically even. Similarity puts me to me. ;)